Schöner Träumer
by delusions dreamer
Summary: --Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will-- Raised away from the hatred of his village, Naruto learns what true strength is. Will he take on the role of protector or destroyer? Yaoi. Ratings will go up. REWRITE.
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto

**Title: Schöner Träumer

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_Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.  
**Mahatma Gandhi**_

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**Prologue**

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Smoke and debris littered the normally pristine streets of Konoha, the stench of fire and death permeating the air and the memories of all those present within the village hidden in the leaves.

The sun was slowly dying over the horizon, bathing everything in a deep reddish gold adding to the surreal nature of the catastrophe that had struck.

The Sandaime took time to gaze at the village as night began to fall and sighed, feeling weary and saddened at the loss of so many in such a short amount of time. It seemed that there was always one disaster after another lately with no conceivable end in sight. First there was that terrible war with Iwa, then the Kyuubi just appeared out of nowhere and now they had to rebuild their village almost from the ground up and maintain their mission loads with their current clients when they had only 40 percent of their military might remaining…

Things weren't looking too good for Konoha as a whole, but the Sandaime had faith that the village would pull through this crisis as it had other times. It had done so during every other catastrophe that had befallen it and would do so again.

The older man took a moment to gather his thoughts and then walked to his desk to sit down and finish a report that he had started earlier.

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**Case File # **010

**Subject Name: **Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto

**Born: **October 10

**Known Relative (s): **Father: Namikaze Minato (deceased); Mother: Uzumaki Kushina (deceased.)

**Kekkei** **Genkai Information: **

Namikaze Minato possessed an as yet unnamed bloodline limit. Said bloodline limit is not a doujutsu. Said bloodline limit promotes advanced healing capabilities that are, at onset of appearing, two to ten times faster than an average human. Upon biological maturation, all physical injuries heal instantaneously and the possessor of the bloodline's immune system evolves to the point that they are immune from most poisons (man made and natural.) It should also be noted that those who possess this kekkei genkai have stamina and chakra capacities that are much greater than a normal person; Namikaze Minato's were reported as being several times greater than Jiraiya while he was a gennin.

Uzumaki Kushina was noted to posses some level of psychic ability; notably post-cognition and empathy. It is unknown if said abilities are a kekkei genkai or a spontaneous ability.

It is uncertain as to whether the presence of the Kyuubi will have any effect on the appearance of the Namikaze kekkei genkai. Further observation will be required before any conclusions can be made.

**Security/Safety Issues and Concerns:**

**1) **Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto is the only known jinchūriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko. While there are other jinchūriki residing in the other hidden villages, none of them are known to contain any of the greater tailed demons (demons with more than 4 tails.) It is uncertain as to whether knowledge of Konohagakure's jinchūriki is available to other locations and/or parties and whether the nature of the particular demon contained is available to other locations and/or parties.

More intelligence is required on this matter.

**2) **There are concerns that various groups within and outside of Konohagakure posses extreme interest in the jinchūriki for, at least two of the parties, unknown reasons. Such groups are, but not limited to: ANBU Root Division (currently under leadership of Danzo,) Hyuuga Clan, Uchiha Clan and Orochimaru. The abovementioned four individuals/organizations are the most concrete threat to the jinchūriki at the moment and should be monitored with extreme caution.

All information concerning Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto has been classified as S-ranked. Any and all release of information revealed without the expressed permission of the Hokage is strictly prohibited (Sandaime's Law.) Any and all individuals who break said law will be executed within 24 hours, there will be no exception made for Title, Clan Name, Rank or any other stipulation that may arise.

Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto's whereabouts are classified.

Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto's alias(s) (if any) are classified.

Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto's current guardian is classified.

Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto's physical appearance is classified.

Any physical/mental/emotional alterations due to the Kyuubi's influence is classified.

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Sandaime finished writing the report and sighed, "This is all I can do to afford you a normal life Naruto, although it will probably not last long…"

The old man stood up from his chair, grimacing lightly in dull pain caused by arthritis and made his way to a crib placed in his office the night before. In there lay an infant boy, sleepily sucking on a pacifier. This brought a smile to the old man's face albeit a sad one.

"Naruto you look so much like your father," at the mention of his name, the infant opened sleepy eyes to look at the old man. After a few moments of gazing at the old man, the infant found nothing interesting about him and gave him a look that translated to 'What the hell did you wake me up for fool?' before he dozed off. The Hokage chuckled at the infant's blatant disinterest, "Although your mother's traits seem to shine through the most."

Sandaime closed his eyes sensing a familiar presence, "Jiraiya."

The Toad Sennin walked over towards the old man and peered into the crib, "So this is Minato and Kushina's boy?"

The Hokage nodded.

Jiraiya gazed at the sleeping infant and grinned, "Naruto, eh?...He's a cute kid."

Sandaime nodded reflecting the same grin, "Physically he's just like Minato, although personality wise he seems to have taken after Kushina."

Jiraiya snorted at that, "The only person to openly ask Uchiha Fugaku whether the stick up his ass had a stick up it's ass."

They both smiled at the thought of the young woman.

"Where's the kid going to go?" Jiraiya asked after a few moments of silence.

The Sandaime took a long drag off his pipe, "That is what I wanted to talk to you about. I need you to do a favor for me…well more for Naruto than anyone else."

Jiraiya nodded, "Sure."

The old man nodded, "You'll be taking Naruto to a place where he can be raised safely. I'm afraid that if he stays in this village he may not survive to be one."

Flashes of a previous council meeting where nearly all were calling for the babe's blood filtered in both their minds. Nodding, Jiraiya asked, "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning at 0600 hours," Jiraiya nodded and asked, "You want me to go solo or with someone else?"

"Your mission partner is on his way here."

The Toad Sannin raised an eyebrow at that, "Who?"

"One of Minato's students, Hatake Kakashi."

Jiraiya raked his brain at the familiar name for a few moments before remembering, "Sakumo's son, eh? What relevance does he have to the mission?"

"You both will be taking Naruto to live with Uchiha Obito. He was one of Arashi's students and the only person other than you, Kakashi and Tsunade that I trust to raise Naruto. He and Kakashi were both Minato's students. If for any reason he declines the order to raise Naruto, I am certain that Kakashi will be able to convince him otherwise and there is also the issue of the Kyuubi seal."

Jiraiya looked at him, expressionless at the moment, "What do you mean?"

"As an Uchiha, he shares a profound connection with the demon."

The Sannin sighed, "Because of Uchiha Madara right?"

The Sandaime nodded, "Neither one of my sensei's were able to determine what sort of bond the Madara seemed to have with the demon, just that there was one to begin with and there have been numerous Uchiha since him who have had dalliances with demons."

Jiraiya scowled, "What does this have to do with Naruto though?"

"What was Madara known for, besides the Sharingan?"

Jiraiya's eyes widened, "He was the only other person besides Shodai-sama who was able to suppress demonic chakra…You're telling me that the kid has the same power?!"

The Hokage looked speculative, "He shows extreme sensitivity to demonic chakra, as Madara did before his suppression abilities manifested, if what he wrote in his journals was accurate, but it is not solely for that reason that I am sending Naruto to live with him. Before the Kyuubi came, Minato had both he and Kakashi learn all the relevant seals that could help suppress the Kyuubi's chakra or repair the seal if anything were to happen to the seal, but due to his connection with Madara, it is Obito who will have the greatest chance of quelling any problems that may arise with the seal. Although I would prefer not to, if need be we will need to exploit the connection between Uchiha Madara and the Kyuubi. The demon was said to respect him immensely, perhaps if he encounters someone similar to him in that respect it will help Naruto."

"Makes sense," Jiraiya conceded, "But I'll stick around for a while too just in case."

The Sandaime nodded in agreement, "Also, I do not want that type of sealing knowledge to ever leak to certain individuals and organizations here."

Jiraiya nodded in grim understanding, "Danzo?"

Sarutobi nodded, "Unfortunately he is only the most recognizable of those who would love nothing more than to find a way of controlling the demon via Naruto. The Uchiha and Hyuuga clans are have already made it clear that they would be more than willing to keep the 'demon' under control."

"Yeah right, They're as bad as Danzo, the only thing that we have going for us when it comes to those fools is that they hate each other."

"Indeed. It is a ploy to garner more power both in and out of the village, after all who would want to cross a clan that can control a 'demon'? On top of that we have several reports of Orochimaru being in the vicinity."

"Damn…," Jiraiya cursed, "Things just keep getting better and better don't they?"

"Don't they?" Sarutobi bit on his pipe for a moment, "Orochimaru hated Minato more than anything for taking the position of Hokage and there is no telling what would happen if he were able to get his hands on Naruto."

"How does he even know about Naruto? I mean the only people that know about him are…"

"The council and it has already been dealt with."

Jiraiya grimaced, "What was it…either someone leaked the information or someone came in and stole the information…judging from how paranoid the clan heads are I'd probably have to guess that it was the former."

The Sandaime nodded, "Unfortunately, you are correct. Haruno Bara was caught exchanging information with one of Orochimaru's scouts."

"Haruno? Since when was there a shinobi clan by that name? I've only been gone for five years and to think that it's changed that much…"

"They aren't a shinobi clan; they are a merchant clan that managed to ingratiate themselves with the Uchiha clan. One of their daughters has married into the clan and as a part of their marriage agreement, they got the support of the Uchiha Clan to join the council…or at least they did. After this incident was brought to light they have lost nearly everything that they have gained through that particular union."

Jiraiya sighed, "And that is why civilians should never be permitted to be involved in shinobi affairs."

The Sandaime nodded, "My thoughts exactly, but if the clans see fit too involve civilians in their affairs then there is little that we can do but keep an eye on them."

"So what happened to this Haruno Bara?"

"She was disowned and publicly disgraced by both the Haruno and the Uchiha, afterwards she was interrogated and then executed by ROOT operatives before any of our ANBU were able to conduct an investigation of their own. Apparently she had been exchanging information with Orochimaru for quite some time and it was only by luck that a patrol caught her in an exchange."

"So then both Orochimaru and Danzo know all the big things about the kid…we need to leave with Naruto tonight then; it's a hazard to keep the boy here any longer. I know a place where we can go with Naruto in the meantime where he'll be perfectly safe."

Sarutobi nodded at that, "I trust that you have some people in mind to help you with Naruto, besides Kakashi?"

Jiraiya grinned, "Yep, you remember my stay in Ame a few years back?"

The Hokage thought on it for a moment, "I thought that you said that they had been killed in the civil war..."

"I had to say that," Jiraiya explained, "If anyone were to know that one of my student's was a possessor of the _that…_ they'd order me or someone else to bring him in and try and marry him off to one of the clans for breeding and there's no way I'm letting them do that. The kid doesn't deserve that kind of fate."

Sarutobi nodded, "Good thinking. But do you think that they are up to the task of helping you care for a baby?"

Jiraiya grinned sheepishly, "At least one of them are…I'm not sure that the other two have ever really been exposed to babies."

The Hokage sighed and hoped that everything turned out well for the child, for he sensed that one day, the little maelstrom before him would change Konoha and perhaps more…

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**Glossary:**

**Bara: **bramble, thorns


	2. 01 The Meeting of the Toad Hound and Fox

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto

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**01 The Meeting of the Toad, Hound and Fox**

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Kakashi groaned in exhaustion as he made his way to the Hokage Tower, all the while wondering why the Sandaime had called for him. It would be a lie if he said he wasn't more than a bit worried at the thought of what the summons was for.

Typically if an ANBU was pulled out of leave, it usually wasn't for a lighthearted chat…well unless there was more than a bit of alcohol involved, but that was an entirely different story.

His ANBU captain had given him a few days to get himself together since Minato-sensei died, too short to really be considered leave but considering the drastic reduction in manpower since the Kyuubi no Yoko attacked, it was more than he could have ever expected.

The silver haired jounin's thoughts however weren't on his sensei, not entirely.

His thoughts were on a little baby by the name of Naruto, his sensei's little boy and the jailer of the demon that killed his father.

Kakashi could close his eyes and see the infant wailing in discomfort as the demon seal newly branded on his stomach pulsed with demonic chakra till the seal took its full effect and sealed entirely as he lay clutched protectively in his dying father's arms.

It was a truly heartbreaking sight.

He remembered rocking the little baby in his arms as the other ANBU took his sensei's body to be secured and prepared for being sealed with the bodies of the Shodai and Nidaime. There would be a public funeral, but there would be no body for anyone to look for amongst the rest of the shinobi that died that day.

Ever.

Kakashi wondered what would happen to Naruto. He had turned the infant over to the Sandaime and was certain that the baby was safe, but only for the time being.

There was no other family for the boy to be given to. Uzumaki Kushina was a war orphan, just like Minato and considered many of the people that she served with her family…many of who were now dead in the wake of the Kyuubi attack, were too bound in duty to their clans to really be able to raise the boy the way that his parents had wanted to do so or those who were now revealing how monstrous they truly were.

People like Uchiha Fugaku, who was Minato's dearest friend.

People like Hyuuga Hizashi and Hiashi, who were Kushina's old teammates and, for all intents and purposes, older brothers.

The same people who turned their back on the baby when he needed the people that their parents trusted the most to love and protect them in their stead; the same people who, if the whispers among the higher echelons of the ANBU were correct, were eying little Naruto as though he were a grand prize in their struggle to make their clans the most powerful and well respected.

It made sense in a sick sort of way that they would want to take the child though. There have been very few records of demon vessels in history, but those that were known were known to be immensely powerful shinobi able to channel the power of the demons that were sealed within them in battle.

Couple onto that how powerful and skilled his parent's were and one could easily see that with training, the babe was going to be a very powerful individual when he grew up some.

It disgusted Kakashi to no end and made him resolve to take care of Naruto in their steed. It would be difficult, of that there was no doubt. He did come from a noble clan and that would most definitely help grease the wheels of bureaucracy in getting the little boy but after that he wasn't certain as to what to do.

Had either Kushina or Minato survived they would be enraged at such a betrayal of their trust and likely enact bloody vengeance.

Kakashi wondered what Obito would say when he learned of this development and smiled a little as he could hear his teammate's utterance of 'Assholes' ringing in his mind clearly.

Assholes, pretty much fit the description perfectly for those who sought Naruto for their own selfish needs.

--

Jiraiya and Sarutobi were engaged in hush conversation, careful not to wake up Naruto, when they sensed Kakashi's chakra approach the tower.

The Sannin looked to the door with a thoughtful expression, "He's pretty quick to answer a summons…"

"That is because he is supposed to be on leave and I summoned him without giving a reason, so most likely he believes the reason to be catastrophic or something of the like…," Sarutobi answered.

Jiraiya shook his head and smirked, "That's mean sensei, messing with the brat's head like that."

The aging Hokage gave him what would have been an innocent look that would have worked had be been thirty years younger or had Jiraiya not known what a sneaky bastard his old sensei could be, "I haven't the slightest idea what you're referring about."

"Right…"

"Moving on, here," the Sandaime snapped his fingers and a cat masked ANBU appeared with a _very_ large scroll, "These are all the things that you will need in caring for Naruto; clothing, formula, diapers, hygienic wipes to clean him with and so on."

Jiraiya looked at the scroll with no small amount of trepidation and disbelief, almost buckling under the weight of the scroll.

"What is all of this?!"

The Hokage waived his hand, dismissing the ANBU before turning his attentions to Jiraiya, looking at his former student as those he were an idiot.

"As I said things for Naruto; of course there are things that you are to give to Obito-kun when you see him. We sealed baby furniture, clothing, some toys for Naruto, all types of formula and baby foods…Jiraiya are you listening?"

The Gama Sannin snapped to attention, "Are you sure that he needs so much stuff? I mean, he's just one baby."

"Don't be silly Jiraiya, his clothing will need to be replaced as he grows, as well as his crib, and he'll need new toys, teething rings later on, different bottles and pacifiers, and so on. But you should at least remember some of this; I remember that you were assigned a very large number of babysitting missions by Nidaime-sama when you were just a gennin."

Jiraiya paled at the memory.

He and Tsunade had gotten into a screaming match when they were just newly graduated gennin and her granduncle, who had come to congratulate the new kunoichi, had been in earshot when he called Tsunade a flat-chested bitch.

As a direct result, Jiraiya had gone down in the annals of Konoha history as being assigned and completing the most D-ranked missions; all of which involved tending to angry, whiny screaming hoards of children that disliked Jiraiya as much as he disliked them.

Sarutobi recalled that his late sensei the Nidaime took great pleasure in making sure that Jiraiya had only the most horrible brats to tend to. He thought on it for a moment, 'For being such a kind man, sensei had a rather sadistic streak…'

Jiraiya snapped out of his terror induced stupor and took a deep breath willing the memories of torture given by an evil white haired Hokage.

"There's no need to worry though, I made sure that there was enough money sealed in there too for things that Naruto is going to need for the next few months as well as a letter for Obito-kun explaining everything that he'll need. You'll also be there to aid him and you need to show him how to care for children."

The sannin shot a glance at the baby in the crib and felt a little better. Naruto was too little to do anything too horrible, and the kid _was_ adorable, so perhaps this wouldn't be a repeat of his childhood experiences.

After all, the kid hadn't woken up or fussed or anything of the like.

And a silent, happy baby was a good baby.

At least in his experience.

Minato and Kushina were sweet, even tempered people who had the patience of saints, so it only made sense that their beloved son would be the same.

Jiraiya did a mental victory dance at how easy he was going to have it.

As they were about to continue their conversation, soft whimpering alerted them that Naruto was now awake and not pleased that his slumber had been interrupted by their talking.

Jiraiya went over to the small crib that held Naruto, who was looking very awake and displeased at the face, and picked him up, "There, there kiddo no need to cry, do you know who I am?"

Naruto's cries halted as he gazed at the visage of the _very _strange man holding him, large blue eyes blinking in confusion at what the man was going to do.

Sarutobi groaned knowing where this was going, "Jiraiya now is not the tim—"

"HAAH! DON'T FRET OR CRY LITTLE ONE, FOR IT IS I THE GREAT TOAD SAGE OF MYOUBOKU MOUNTAIN JIRIAYA! SO GAZE UPON MY VISAGE LITTLE ONE AND BASK IN WONDER!"

The aging Hokage looked heavenward and wondered if his predecessors were snickering in the spiritual plane at his fortune of having such a…unique student.

As he took a moment to lament Jiraiya's uniqueness, he snuck a glance at Naruto who appeared to be experiencing a mix of shock and confusion. Things being the way that they were at the moment, Sarutobi was actually amazed that the babe hadn't started bawling the moment that Jiraiya opened his mouth.

If he were in Naruto's shoes, or rather diapers, he'd be screaming for someone to rescue him from the crazy man.

Large blue eyes blinked in an almost owlish fashion and Naruto just stared.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared.

For staring was all the newborn could do, stuck in the arms of a crazy man.

--

Kakashi had made his way past all the security checks on his way to the Hokage. ANBU or not, the village was weakened and it was an ideal time for an assassin to strike the Sandaime in an attempt to permanently cripple or destroy Konoha. Although it wouldn't be an easy task; people liked to assume that the village leader was a weak, old man when in reality he was still one of the most powerful shinobi in all the elemental countries.

It was a pretty funny affair to see some poor sod piss his pants when the old man dispatched them and waited for the ANBU to come and collect them though.

As the young ANBU made his way to the doors of the Hokage's office, he was nearly knocked off his socks by the screaming within.

"_HAAH! DON'T FRET OR CRY LITTLE ONE, FOR IT IS I THE GREAT TOAD SAGE OF MYOUBOKU MOUNTAIN JIRIAYA! SO GAZE UPON MY VISAGE LITTLE ONE AND BASK IN WONDER!"_

Kakashi, all the hidden ANBU, the Hokage's secretary and quite possibly the whole tower, stood in gob smacked silence wondering in unison, 'What the fuck?!'

He walked up to the doors to the Hokage's office and knocked on the door almost hesitantly.

"Hokage-sama, Hatake Kakashi reporting," he announced.

"Come on in Kakashi, we have much to discuss."

The young shinobi took a deep breath and entered the office, but not before entering a short prayer to the Gods to spare him from his insane superiors.

--

Sarutobi, having liberated Naruto from Jiraiya was now sitting at his desk with the infant. Naruto, now that the shock had worn off, was gripping the material of the robes the old man wore with great interest.

Jiraiya was busy strapping the giant scroll onto his back, accompanying his summoning scroll.

Kakashi entered the room, looking a little surprised to see Jiraiya there but assumed correctly that he was there due to both Minato-sensei and Naruto. Jiraiya was known for not liking many of the village politics and only becoming involved in such affairs when they pertained to his student Minato and his family. Other than that he was almost never home. His eyes then zeroed in on the Hokage and the blonde baby who was very interested n the robes that the man was wearing.

"Hokage-sama, Jiraiya-sama," he greeted with the customary bow.

"Kakashi-kun, it is good that you are here," the Sandaime spoke, "I know that you are on leave now, but I need you to accompany Jiraiya on an important mission immediately."

The nin blinked, "Of course Hokage-sama. What is the mission?"

Sarutobi motioned to the baby in his arms who was now gazing at Kakashi curiously, "You are aware of how many of the villagers and shinobi view Naruto."

Kakashi nodded, "They all view Naruto as the demon itself," he answered, not able to keep the bitterness out of his voice, "and…"

"Yes?" the Hokage prodded.

"Hokage-sama, there have been whispers amongst the ANBU…that certain individuals want to use Naruto as a weapon of some sort…"

Sarutobi nodded sadly, "They are true. The Uchiha and Hyuuga clans are only the most identifiable of those who would use Naruto to further their means. There are various other parties who would do anything to get Minato and Kushina's son Kakashi and I mean _anything."_

"So you and me are going to go and take Naruto somewhere where he can be safe and grow up unexploited," Jiraiya added.

"A place far from Konoha," Sarutobi supplied, "The longer Naruto stays, the clearer it becomes that he will be harmed or worse."

Kakashi nodded in agreement, "Where are we going to be taking him?"

The Hokage smiled, "You two will be taking him to your teammate."

"Obito?" Kakashi asked.

Jiraiya nodded, "Yes. Everyone here thinks that he's dead. We are the only one's that knows that he's alive. Naruto will be safe there with him, not to mention that we'll be there for a while too, just to make sure that there aren't any threats there."

The young ANBU nodded in agreement, "When do we leave?"

"Tonight and the sooner that you leave the better."

Kakashi nodded, "Is there anything else that we should know about the mission?"

Sarutobi shook his head, "No. Jiraiya will inform you of any changes to the mission so there is no need to concern yourself with that at the moment. Also Kakashi, you have been chosen for this mission because you are one of the few people that Minato and Kushina would want to raise Naruto, not to mention that Minato taught both you and Obito demonic suppression seals. While I do not believe that you will need to use that knowledge, we must err on the side of caution."

"Hai Hokage-sama."

"Good…Kakashi make all the preparations that you need to and Jiraiya will come over to your house in half an hour with Naruto. "

Kakashi bowed once more before leaving in a plume of smoke.

Sarutobi looked down to Naruto, who was making a drooling mess on his robes, before settling his gaze on Jiraiya who was looking at the abovementioned mess with a grimace. He'd be handling the little drool monster for quite a while now, "Send me word when you reach your contacts."

"Sure but that'll take about a week if weather conditions are good enough for the kid to be out, it could take up to two or maybe three weeks if it starts to cool down quickly."

The Sandaime nodded in understanding and leveled a flat stare at his student, "Try not to corrupt Kakashi too much Jiraiya. He's one of my best and I'd like him to return without having his mind addled by your books."

Jiraiya looked affronted, "My books don't addle anyone's mind. They are prized pieces of literature."

"I'll be sure to tell that to Tsunade, especially when she comes here hunting for your blood. I've heard that the lead character on the cover of your latest book bears an uncanny resemblance to her."

"Aha! So you do read my books!" Jiraiya crowed. The Hokage rolled his eyes in annoyance and got up from his seat and handed Naruto to Jiraiya. The Sannin took the child carefully and held him with a mildly disgusted expression.

"Why is it that every kid I look after drools all over the place?"

--

Kakashi rushed around his house gathering all the things that he thought would be useful on his mission and sealing them on a mid sized scroll.

"Let's see…weapons check, med kits check, food check, clothes check, money check, blank scrolls check…what else?"

The young ANBU looked around his living room and thought for a moment, "Ah!" before bolting to his bedroom and coming out with a small camera, sealing it away with the rest of his things. Kakashi was planning on giving it to Obito to capture all of Naruto's first experiences as he was certain Minato-sensei and Kushina-chan would.

As he was rolling up the seal scroll an almost aggravated sounding knocking came from his front door. Kakashi, recognizing Jiraiya's chakra and heard a baby crying, opened the door to see a frazzled sannin with an unruly infant.

Jiraiya's eyes zeroed in on the form before him and held Naruto up to Kakashi, "Here."

Kakashi numbly nodded and took the crying baby from the man and immediately set about trying to calm Naruto down. Immediately doing a check of the most obvious things a baby would cry about.

"Hush Naru-chan, it's alright…" Kakashi checked his diaper, relieved that there was nothing there, felt the babe's forehead, everything normal. He pondered for a moment about the various babysitting missions he went on before turning to the sannin.

"Jiraiaya-sama, would you happen to have a pacifier handy for Naruto?"

"Yeah, hold on a bit," Jiraiya unstrapped a giant scroll from his back, surprising Kakashi who had never seen a scroll of that size. The sannin opened the monstrosity of a scroll and quickly skimmed through the long list of items for what seemed like forever to Kakashi.

Naruto was screaming a fit and Kakashi knew that if this wasn't nipped in the bud, Naruto would scream for hours.

When Jiraiya finally found the pacifier and unsealed it, Kakashi quickly placed it in Naruto's mouth, which immediately quieted him down.

Both males sighed in relief at the blanket of silence that settled in the house.

"Thank Kami! He just started crying and crying for no reason at all! I checked everything! He didn't need a change! He wasn't hungry! He just wanted to see me suffer!" Jiraiya ranted pulling at his hair, making it stand at every angle.

Naruto happily sucked on his pacifier, while Kakashi held him.

Kakashi looked from the baby to the sannin and back again, resisting the urge to sigh out loud at their antics.

'It looks like this is going to be an interesting trip.'


	3. Omake 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto

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**Omake # 1**:

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Kakashi liked to think that he wasn't easily surprised by the unexpected and for the most part he was right. He had managed to complete his missions in good time and still had his original set of limbs, eyes and teeth.

All in all, he was a damn good ninja who was more than capable of taking care of himself when he encountered surprises of the nastier variety on the battlefield. So there really wasn't any reason to believe that child care would be in the same category as 'nasty surprises.'

But life has a habit of slamming her favorite lead pipe behind a person's kneecap, sending them falling straight down into a generous pile of doggy crap and Kakashi was no exception to this.

The teenager gazed at the small baby placed in his arms, who blinked back owlishly at the peculiar looking boy.

To a baby, the young jounin was quite the spectacle to behold. Not as much as Jiraiya, but still something to gawk at. Crazy grey hair sticking up at every angle, face mask, headband almost covering his sleepy looking eyes; little Naruto didn't know what to do with the strange person that was holding him.

Likewise, Kakashi had no idea what to do or think about Naruto; who if one where to discount the whisker markings, was practically a clone of his father.

After a few moments of continual staring, Naruto raised a chubby little hand up to reach for his face mask while Kakashi moved the baby around in his arms so that his mask was no longer in danger of being pulled off by a curious infant.

_**Big**_ mistake.

The moment that the mask was no longer in reach, big blue eyes watered and trembling lips came into play. Naruto began to whimper softly, tears now starting to come out and roll down plump whiskered cheeks.

It was at this moment that Kakashi knew that he was screwed.

Totally, utterly, royally _**screwed**_.

The ANBU panicked for a moment and did the only thing that he could think of, and gave the babe what he wanted.

"No Naru-chan, please don't cry! See look," Kakashi hoisted the little baby towards his face mask, allowing Naruto's little hands to touch the mask.

For a few moments, there was tense silence between the two. Naruto sniffled for a few moments as he looked at the mask and Kakashi's pleading eyes, wondering what to do now that he got what he wanted.

Kakashi resisted the urge to sigh in relief not wanting to disturb the infant further.

Crisis averted.

Naruto lightly patted the mask and seeing that there was no resistance or danger of being moved smiled. The odd looking person holding him was allowing him to play with what he wanted!

The Jounin couldn't suppress the smile that emerged when he heard his sensei's mini-me giggle in happiness. That is until Naruto then stopped giggling and scrunched up his face, looking very disgruntled.

Kakashi looked worried at baby's actions, "Naru-chan?"

And it was at this precise moment that a foul miasma hit Kakashi with the force of a cinderblock hurled at full strength by a wrathful Tsunade.

His eye watered and he began to cough and gag at the unexpected smell.

"Oh! That's just awful! Take it back please!"

Naruto began to giggle at the man's response, cementing in Kakashi's mind that he was holding a sadist in the making.

Kakashi had found his match in his sensei's little boy, Namikaze Naruto.


End file.
